Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Friend

Today, I spent time with a friend. Listening and hearing what weighed hard on their hart. Though I had no words of comfort for them, my own hart ached to help ease their pain. You see, my friend is watching their only child slowly suffer from cancer. And soon will be facing a life without them. I ache so badly to want to ease that pain. But, as I am well familiar with that type of hurt, there is not ease. There is only hurt and loss.

Yesterday, I visited with two long time friends. Listening and hearing the medical issues they both have had to face. A close call one of them had just recently. Again, my hart grew heavy wanting to ease their ache. Wishing that there was something I could offer to lighten the burden.

Last week, I sat with a friend who I have known since I was a teenager. I sat with my friend while they received their treatment to hydrate there body after their weekly treatment of chemotherapy, that leaves them weak and dehydrated. I look into their eyes and see the tiredness of fighting. And yet, once again, I feel helpless and feeble to do anything other than talk with them and make them laugh.
Last month, a friend I have known, only a tad bit less than I have known my own sister, lost his 5 year fight to AIDS.

You might wonder why I would write about these things on here. Why, with the upcoming holiday festivities I would write with a dark overtone? Because with all the glitz and glamour of the Christmas season, I don’t want to forget this time of the year might not be so Glamorous for friends. That for some, this time might represent pain, suffering, and events they would rather wipe from their memories. Many of you can relate with these things from one side or the other. Maybe even both.

I will offer a few thoughts. One of the thoughts was something my Father often said to me when I was little after we lost my Brother to a train accident. He said, “Even when life is full of death, pain and sorrows, the evilness that was never meant for man to live with, remember this one thing. Don’t let the bastard (he was referred to Satan) Win. Don’t let him fill your hart with nothing but grief, pain, sorrows, and hate.” Funny thing was, my Jewish father was never a religious or a man of faith until his last few days on earth after a long fight with Cancer. But never the less, profound words that have always stayed with me.
One last thought. If like me, you have a few dear friends who you feel a heavy hart for. Offer them an ear or a shoulder during the holidays when they are in need. Maybe a laugh or two as that special personal holiday present. Offer to cook something special, of their choice, when they want. Whatever it is you offer, just be sure to offer, because during this time, the offer sometimes is the one thing that touches the hart.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I understand. My dad just passed away this last week. This is the third death over the holidays in the last 4 years. Makes holidays tough. But also reminds us of the reason for the season. Nancy kessler